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Building Self-Confidence

Building Confidence and Self-Esteem

By [http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Demi_Holdstock]Demi Holdstock

What is Self Esteem – Its how you see yourself, how much you think you are worth, how important you think you are to yourself and others around you. What you should be thinking is you are worth the good things in life and deserve them and happiness. That you also are capable of handling situations that arise daily and you can face whatever challenges life throws at you. If life’s not like this then read on.

If you feel your not sure whether you can complete certain tasks, and you tend to shy away from crowds and even friends due to uncertainties about yourself, or your to busy thinking what they will think about you and what actions they may take then listen up.

Building Self Esteem is all about having confidence, the more the better.

Self esteem plays an important role on who we are and how we carry ourselves – it can have a major impact on our social standing, our job performance, and our relationships. Our attitude towards ourselves determines health happiness and performance in every part of our life

Being more positive is an everyday challenge, just standing in front of the mirror and saying “I am more positive” time and time again wont work. you see deep inside our minds at subconscious level. You mind will say “Who are you kidding” “You’re a quivering wreck” “You’re shaking like a leaf” BASICALLY the subconscious wont believe you!! But if we was to say ” I am getting more positive everyday” now this could be believed, the mind can work with this. You can believe it yourself. You can keep working on this until its fully embedded in our minds.

Find some affirmations, like: I am loving myself more everyday, I am becoming more and more successful everyday. Look up Google there’s a million quotes but change them to be believable to your mind.

Where are you confident? Everybody is confident somewhere in their life, even if it making a cup of tea. Popping to Tesco`s for shopping, helping an old lady cross the road. You can do something well, now expand on this, let this confidence grow. 1 small step each day is all that is required. Imagine in 100 days of small daily steps, what difference could you see in yourself.

Start looking for an answer or opinions yourself. Ask you first what do you want? What do you think? Imagine 100 decisions later. You could be the new decision maker for the future.

Trust in your ability to take decisions even important ones, if you never done this before don’t worry, if the decision is wrong its learning it’s the 1st step. There’s no way around it, so what! Everyone been there or going to be there. Any failures are learning steps not failures next time you will be better, stronger, next time wiser there are no mistakes only lessons. Give it a try become more positive, and have a happier life.

Listen yourself and others good communication is vital everyday life.

Listen to you. Nobody knows you better or your mind. Listen to your body, your gut. Listen to your inner intuition take confidence from what your body tells you. Start to take notice NOW. Forget other peoples opinions for now listen to YOU. Talk to you, take time out have a break tell yourself how lucky you are, praise all good things and achievements and positives that you have. What your feeling on the inside is what’s showing on the outside.

Be kind to yourself watch your tone give yourself respect! How do you expect anyone else to, if you don’t give respect to yourself. Talk to yourself like you would like to be spoken to. Give yourself a break don’t be to hard, that little voice is your friend your buddy trying to help you be kind to YOU. The way you treat yourself sets the standards of how others will treat you.

Acceptance you for how you are, with flaws and faults, you can’t fight it, its you. You got to love YOU – congratulate yourself everyday, give a self-hug. If you don’t love yourself how do you expect others to? So come on every morning and evening anytime we can lets do this.

Look in mirror give the biggest smile, flash the best look you can give. Keep telling yourself how your improving (keep it realistic) Your looking better each day, keep telling the self until you really belief it will reflect on outside. A new you.

Do things that make you feel good, some music, go for a nature walk, a hot bubbly bath, anything that gives a positive feeling, giving increased positive energy for more reflection on the outside.

Time to get rid of negative things and people, anything that drags you down dump it now. Get rid of friends that are negative, get rid clutter, negative reminders. Remove all this negativity from your environment be in a positive environment with positive people around you. Be surrounded with positivity, let it bring out good feelings, start being a happy person.

Being aware of you, stand tall, look like you mean business, look like your going somewhere important, walk faster your on a mission. Dress smarter, the better you feel the better you reflect to others.

Praise others encourage others, when you give positivity out you get it back. Positive attracts positive. If others get better you will to. Just take 1 day at a time 1 step at a time. Think what will I be like from 1 year from now? Take a risk. Take 1 dare a day

You have the capability – what if I can’t do it outlook, don’t get negative before starting. Start to learn by doing, preparation is good but to much, and you start to doubt your skills and capabilities. Think less just do it, think I have skills I am stronger I can do it, I am a person of value and am deciding to have the courage today.

One challenge if you are in a situation like going to meet some friends maybe at restaurant or job interview and you are nervous or worrying, have some fear even dreading, and thinking what will theses people think of me, will they like me, am I dressed OK all theses are dis-empowering thoughts, this is the affect what others think of us. It’s small thinking not big.

Lets change, might want to it to thinking how can I be of service here? Or how can I spread my good nature my kind thoughts even my love in this place, how can I get into the flow? Can you feel the difference in energy it’s shifted in our body from negative to positive thoughts, already you can feel more confident more positive more happier, give it a try even if it’s a trip to the local store. For more help visit:

Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Building-Self-Esteem&id=6509321] Building Self-Esteem

Developing Self-Confidence (by G F Orr)


Feeling a sense of reliance of ones power in a given circumstance, this definition of confidence is one which many will aspire to. Confidence and indeed self-confidence is viewed as something which gives us the ability to control our lives, and enjoy the things that are happening around us. People who lack confidence often need the re-assurance of others of both their worth and that they are doing the right thing. In other words self-belief and self-confidence are very closely tied together.

Self-belief is your view of yourself and the impact you have on yourself and the wider world. The greater your self-belief is, the easier that you will find it to be confident both in the relationships that you have and the things that you do.

Of course many people wish to be confident, perhaps to feel less anxious in situations when meeting people or perhaps in talking in front of people or perhaps just as they navigate their lives. Yet most of us would admit to being less than confident in at least some aspects of out lives. For some this lack of confidence can lead to behaviours where the quality of their lives is seriously impacted. Perhaps being afraid to go out, or stopping an interest for fear of the judgement of others.

When we think about a lack of confidence, it is rarely about whether we can do something or not. Usually we know what we are to do and often have practised it. The problem is much more to do with the opinion of others or society and if they will judge it. This focusing on influencing others opinions is where the lack of confidence is. If we were to believe that only our opinion mattered and others could take it or leave it, we would be more confident. However, that is unrealistic, yet perhaps it is a starting point that if we set ourselves realistic goals about what is success for us then perhaps we can have more confidence that we can achieve it. For example if your goal was to present a subject to a room of 50 people to get universal agreement, you would not be confident. Yet if your goal was to present the subject to 50 people so that they could understand it, you could be confident of that at least. The first relies on others the second on you.

Developing this theme further we can see that there are ways in which we can improve our confidence. Small things like wearing clothes that make us comfortable and ready to face the world, smiling at others. There are other behaviours that take a little longer but improve our confidence, you should avoid or challenge catastrophic thinking. For example, “If I go to the party it’s always a complete disaster.” This black and white thinking is rarely correct, usually it is somewhere between, some things were great and others could have been better and being more realistic about the situation can help to make us more confident going into a situation.

Questioning statements like “I am unattractive”, or “I am so stupid” helps to keep us realistic and prevent our self-belief and therefore confidence being undermined.

Hopefully as you pull these threads together you will become be realistic about the real you. What you think and what you feel. As you become more confident about that it becomes easier to share that with others because you believe in yourself. Ultimately you can use that confidence to strip away the layers that you have built up over the years to appeal to others and let them see the real you with both your weaknesses and strengths, confident that you can tackle anything.

Graeme is a counsellor, writer and coach living and working in Glasgow, Scotland

Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Developing-Self-Confidence&id=7458233] Developing Self-Confidence